WANT TO HELP WRITE A PERCY JACKSON HIGH SCHOOL STORY!
by Holly Kay
Summary: I NEED A SECOND OPINION ON THIS SUMMER PROJECT. ALL THAT HELP GET CAMEOS IN THE STORY! I NEED SUGGESTIONS AND INPUT ABOUT THE PLOT. EXCLUSIVE SNEAK PEEKS AND SHOUT OUTS TO ALL THOSE THAT REVIEW.
1. Introduction

I APOLAGIZE FOR ALL THE MISSPELLED WORDS AND RANDOM LETTERS IN THE MIDDLE OF SENTENCES. IM NOT USING MY COMPUTER TO WRITE THIS. THIS LAPTOP IS ANCIENT AND THE TRACKPAD IS GLITCHY AND CLICKS SOME TIMES FOR NO REASON

So I plan to write a giant fanfiction over the summer. But, I have a problem. I need to show my plan to someone. However, my writing is very private. I really don't want anyone I know to see this until I change the names and publish the book. Right, the plan. So I've always wanted to write a book and I love the percy jackson series so thats a good place to start for inspiration. So what I'm going to do is write the fanfiction, upload it and get feedback, but before I can get started i want to see if what i have is any good. I've noticed a lot of percy jackson highschool fanfictions are plotless. they either show percy as perfect which is fun but doesn't make a very compelling story, or are die after about six chapters because there is not really conflict and the entire thing is just fan service. our mission is to make a fully fleshed out story. the first finished coherent high school percy jackson fan fiction.

So what im asking for here is basically this. go through, read the plot, tell me what you think. i don't get many reviews so if you do say something i'll definitely consider it.

The three main things i need you to comment on are

IDEAS FOR THE PLOT such as new things we could add to the story, a story boils done to the three act structure. so each event will play into its act in some way. for example. the first act has to set up percy as a poor lower class under dog we can all cheer for when things go his way by the middle of the first act. the end of the first act introduces the conflict (percy meeting annabeth). then the second act has to crush percy. everything most go wrong (percy gets kicked off the swim team, calypso leaves him, he loses his job). the third act has to be inspirational. percys dad shows up (need help on how and why). percys dad tries to catch up on being his father. we need a character ark where annabeth and rachael start to feel bad for percy and regret their actions so when they tell calypso the truth it isn't out of nowhere.

SCENARIOS YOU WANT TO SEE. I'm not below fan service. if you want percy to sing karaoke at a school talent show with annabeth (as long as you pitch the idea in a way that makes sense to the plot) i'll do it.

CHARACTER YOU WANT TO SEE. I'll add almost any character from any universe if you want. ALSO I YOU HELP WITH THIS PROJECT I'LL GIVE YOU A CAMEO WITH WHATEVER NAME YOU CHOOSE.

for example

Flamingnightrider:

could you give the doctor a cameo as a physics teacher on a date with me (Natalie)

that comment would end up looking like this.

Me and Annabeth walked into the Cafe and were immediately hit with the scent of strong black coffee and assorted pastries. The duo wandered over to the counter, looking at all the expensive decorations, and ordered. They sat down and waited for their food when Annabeth spotted someone she knew.

"Doctor Smith?"

"Annabeth! What a lovely suprise!" A tell slender man with brown messy hair strutted over to their table. He wore a fashionable blue suit with a long overcoat. With him was a young blond girl holding a crossaint in one hand and a cup of apple cider in the other. "Annabeth! It's been so long!" She put the crossaint in her mouth and extended her hand to Percy.

"Hi, I'm Natalie."

"Percy."

Natalie took the crossaint out of her mouth.

"Pleased to meet you Percy."

"So what are you two doing in New York?" Annabeth asked.

"Oh, you know, the usual. Campus appearances, talks and the rif raf." The Doctor answer nonchalantly.

Something like that. Except it would be way more coherent and well written. i need a description of your character and how you want to be portrayed.

PLOT

(so the plot goes like so. percy wants to try out for the swim team. he trains and trains for a week straight. then in history he and rachael are assigned to be partners on a project. percy falls for her instantly. while they work on their project in the library percy asks rachael out. he makes the swim team and goes out with rachael, he has a good freshman year. school comes and his mother signs him up for an exclusive summer camp for athletes. at camp half blood he meets annabeth. they hang out a lot and on the last day of camp they exchange contact info and a kiss. percy feels terrible for cheating on rachael but begins to wonder if the two are right for eachother. percy gets a job at a coffee shop, then a new freshman shows up at school and beats percy in a race. then annabeth shows up at percys school and kisses him infront of rachael. they find out about eachother and racheal breaks up with percy and annabeth wont speak to him. then percy meets calypso. she is the owners daughter of the coffee shop percy works at. percy gets back into swimming and wins a swim meet. during the swim meet he asks calypso out to prom. a scout for college talks to percy about a scholarship if he keeps up his grades and swim records. annabeth, piper and rachael team up to get revenge on percy for cheating on them by breaking up him and calypso. percy gets drunk at a party and the evil trio take advantage of this. they take pictures of percy drinking and "sleeping with" piper. they post the pictures anonymously on facebook and percy is kicked off the swim team. calypso breaks up with him. he loses his job and the scholarship deal is denied. he almost fails all his classes and contiplats suicide. then his long lost father comes back during the summer. he helps percy pass his classes, learn how to drive and gets him into an exclusive swim club. percys grades start to go back up. rachael and annabeth feel bad for what they did and they tell calypso what they did. percy gets back with calypso. percy takes calypso to prom senior year. then they break up for college *at this point we ask the readers to pick annabeth, racheal or calypso to end up with* percy is at a cafe in a small town when he sees (pick) they strike up a conversation and arrange to meet again. they meet and realize they live a block away from eachother. they hangout a lot and have cook outs when percy asks if (pick) will come with him to his match at the olympics. they do there and percy wins. on the podium for the gold medal he asks (pick) to marry him. they settle down in north carolina and have three kids, two boys and a girl. AND THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER (what the heck did i just write. this took me two hours...)

EXTREMELY ROUGH DRAFT

Percy Jackson was an all round average kid. He got average grades. He played average video games and he hung out with average people. As far as Percy was concerned he was all round average. But there was one thing that he was good at. Swimming, the one thing that brought him true joy. On days when he just didn't feel like coming home to Gabe, his abusive step father, he would just stay at school and swim laps. It was oddly relaxing despite the vigurous workout it gave him.

On this particular day Percy had just finished his laps, toweled off and changed. He headed down the winding hallways of the massive Hartmen academy when he spotted a poster on the wall. The poster read as follows.

"Hartmen Hounds Swim Team Try Outs This Thursday at Three-thirty. Towels provided, swimsuits not."

Percy stared at the poster before taking it off the wall, folding it up and putting it in his pocket.

"What do you think you're gonna do with that Jackson."

Percy whirled around to see Luke and his crew. Frank, Fletcher, Toby, and Caleb. They where fresh off the turf and they smelled like it. The aroma hit Percy like a freight train. He wrinkled his nose and his eyes started to water.

"Nothing." Percy said, his voice craking involentarily. He coughed to clear his throat.

"A shrimp like you doesn't have a chance. Give it up loser. You'll never amount to anything." Luke sneered.

Percy's blood boiled. Any other day he would have just walked away but this was his passion and it hurt to hear someone stomp all over it.

"You know what Luke!" Percy snapped. He grabbed the collar of Lukes shirt. "I've had it up to here with your-"

"Mr. Jaclson! Unhand h"im and come with me this instant young man!"

It was Ms. Dobbes. Of course, she hated him and he couldn't tell why. He was always quiet. Sure he never got very good grades in her class and never really tried but that's not really an excuse for sending him to the principals office for minor offenses.

Percy let go of Lukes now very stretched out collar and stepped back.

"Have a good detention Jackson." Luke smirked as Percy followed Ms. Dobbes to her classroom.

She sat down behind her desk as Percy entered the room and stood infront of the desk, ready for a lecture.

"Mr. Jackson."

"Yes, Ms. Dobbes."

"You understand that you can be expelled for that type of behavior."

"Yes."

"We both know how this is going to end so I'll skip the formalities. You have detention for the rest of the month. Please have a seat."

Percy sat in the far corner of the room and tried to work on his English paper, key word is tried. After the letters from his notes started floating around his head and started chanting ,read me, he gave up and started on his history homework.


	2. Update 2: Electric Boogaloo

Hey! Look at that! The dead has risen! I have returned and i bring not only a lack of good spelling and proper capitalization but also a quick update.

First things first. I'd like to thank you all for your reviews and unlike most people i won't scam you out of your recognition. For this im basically going to

4N6Dance, I'd like to thank you personally for your review. This person talked me out of the suicide idea. That was never going to work and it wouldnt have fit the feel of the story. Also brought the idea of having posiden be a business owner whos business over seas failed. That could be a good plot point.

The-Excess-Dreams, you sure went indepth on this one. Thanks for that. Good to see someone cares. The-Excess-Dreams thinks that three girls (annabeth racheal and calypso) is too many. I personally agree. So who's up on the chopping block. Tell me who should be cut in the comments.

when darkness meets light, thanks for the scenario. This person wants a percy and annabeth in detention scene. This scene basically writes itself. So thanks for that. That'll be fun the write.

Percabeth418, thanks for the encouragement. You're cool in my book.

dawizurd15, I gotchu. Johnny Gat will show up at some point.

I thinks that's everyone. a guest said nice. So thank you. That's have nice of you.

OKAY, next order of business. I think of this little project as a community thing. A business if you will. We all contribute something. So far I've gotten more reviews than i ever have and im very thankful for that. I dont know what im trying to say anymore. The point that actually wanted to make was this.

This is a summer project. So i promise you i didn't abandon you guys. Schools fault. This update took longer than expected to get to.

I'll really start writing after school ends.

So with out further (adoo or something i dont know how to spell it) here is the plot so far

(so the plot goes like so. percy wants to try out for the swim team. he trains and trains for a week straight. then in history he and rachael are assigned to be partners on a project. percy falls for her instantly. while they work on their project in the library percy asks rachael out. he makes the swim team and goes out with rachael, he has a good freshman year. school comes and his mother signs him up for an exclusive summer camp for athletes. at camp half blood he meets annabeth. they hang out a lot and on the last day of camp they exchange contact info and a kiss. percy feels terrible for cheating on rachael but begins to wonder if the two are right for eachother. percy gets a job at a coffee shop, then a new freshman shows up at school and beats percy in a race. then annabeth shows up at percys school and kisses him infront of rachael. they find out about eachother and racheal breaks up with percy and annabeth wont speak to him. then percy meets calypso. she is the owners daughter of the coffee shop percy works at. percy gets back into swimming and wins a swim meet. during the swim meet he asks calypso out to prom. a scout for college talks to percy about a scholarship if he keeps up his grades and swim records. annabeth, piper and rachael team up to get revenge on percy for cheating on them by breaking up him and calypso. percy gets drunk at a party and the evil trio take advantage of this. they take pictures of percy drinking and "sleeping with" piper. they post the pictures anonymously on facebook and percy is kicked off the swim team. calypso breaks up with him. he loses his job and the scholarship deal is denied. he almost fails all his classes and conm tiplats suicide. then his long lost father comes back during the summer. he helps percy pass his classes, learn how to drive and gets him into an exclusive swim club. percys grades start to go back up. rachael and annabeth feel bad for what they did and they tell calypso what they did. percy gets back with calypso. percy takes calypso to prom senior year. then they break up for college *at this point we ask the readers to pick annabeth, racheal or calypso to end up with* percy is at a cafe in a small town when he sees (pick) they strike up a conversation and arrange to meet again. they meet and realize they live a block away from eachother. they hangout a lot and have cook outs when percy asks if (pick) will come with him to his match at the olympics. they do there and percy wins. on the podium for the gold medal he asks (pick) to marry him. they settle down in north carolina and have three kids, two boys and a girl. AND THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER (what the heck did i just write. this took me two hours...)

ACT 1

wants to join swim team

meets calypso at coffee shop

trains for swim team

meets and goes out with rachael.

tries out for swim team

goes to camp half blood

meets annabeth

kisses annabeth

this is the beginning of the main conflict.

ACT 2

gets job at cafe

annabeth shows up after school and kisses percy infront of racheal

racheal breaks up with percy and annabeth wont talk to him

calypso consules him and invites him to a party her dad was invited to, a red carpet event

percy goes to a swim meet and wins

he asks calypso to prom

he meets a scout whom offers him a scholarship and a place on a big team

piper convinces annabeth and rachael to get revenge on percy for cheating on them by breaking up him and calypso

percy gets drunk at a party and piper takes pictures of percy drinking and kissing her. they post the pictures anonymously on facebook

calypso breaks up with him. he loses his job and the scholarship deal is denied. he almost fails all his classes

ACT 3

then his long lost father comes back during the summer

he helps percy pass his summer school classes, learn how to drive and gets him into an exclusive swim club

rachael and annabeth feel bad for what they did and they tell calypso

percy gets back with calypso. percy takes calypso to prom senior year. then they break up for college

SO, i don't actually know how up to date this version of the plot is so bear with me i didnt actually read the document i copy pasted.

Here is an excerpt of what i've written since the last update. Tell me how you think should happen in this scene.

The coffee shop was a warm cozy little place off the beaten path. It had stone tiles and a fountain bubbling over into a small floor level pond shaped like a pond. The place smelled strongly of water, black coffee and freshly baked pastries. Percy sat down at a table next to the pond by a window.

He set down his delapidated backpack and got out his school issued laptop.

"Hello! What can I get you?"

Percy jumped and slammed his knee into the table.

"Oh my gosh! I am so sorry!" The girl put her hand on the laptop to stop it from falling off the table.

"It's fine." It was not fine. Percy was pretty sure it was bruised.

"I have a bad habit of sneaking up on people. Can you do me a favor and not tell anyone about that?"

"As long as you don't scare me to death again we've got a deal."

She laughed.

"So, uh, what can I get you." She asked.

Percy rubbed his knee.

"What's good?" He asked. He had only eaten at fancy coffee shops like this once before and that was for Gabes birthday a few years ago. Gabe spilled coffee on himself and blamed the waiter for it. They kicked them out and they had never been out to eat as a family since.

"Well I'm partial to the crossiants and hot chocolate. But that's just me." She smiled at him.

"I'll have that then."

"Cool, I'll have it right out."


	3. Update 3: Return of The Update

It has been a while. This summer ended up being alot busier than I anticipated between vacation, summer camp, lifeguarding and soccer. I do have good news though. I have started the project back up and it's going strong with a new quota of one-thousand words every two days at least. From now on I will be posting updates once a week and getting your feedback. I tried to add as many of your suggestions as possible. The goal here is to capture Percy's true personality. Not the idolized fanfiction version who can confidently do anything with a smile and a girl under each arm. No, the true Percy Jackson is a loser. In the beginning at least. That's part of why the first book was so good. Percy was relatable (to some of us at least) and when he found out he was a demigod with a prophecy hanging over his head it felt good to us because we connected with the character before hand. We understood how he felt about things. How he was stubborn and not affrad to stand up for his friends but at the same time he saw the world around him through a cynical lens. He judged everyone and to cope with his shortcomings he developed a good sense of sarcastic humor. Percy Jackson is a great character. But to make his character work we need to drag him through the mud before his personality truly shows through as the sarcastic stubborn troublemaker we all know and love.

Side note. I just realized how much I, seemingly, randomly insert words that don't belong wherer they are put. I.E. "So thank you. That's have nice of you."

I honestly don't know what is wrong with me but here is a quick guide to decyphering my horrid typos.

This only counts for when the word doesn't fit where it is placed "I went 'the' store and bought some black licorice."

have = very (and vice versa)

the = to (and vice versa)

from = for (and vice versa)

HERE IS THE NEW CONTENT. CRITQUE AS YOU SEE FIT. NONE OF THIS IS FINAL.  
(Waitress speaking to Percy)  
"Well I'm partial to the croissants and hot chocolate. But that's just me." She smiled at him.  
"I'll have that then."  
"Good choice, I'll have it right out." As soon as she was gone Percy rolled up his pant leg to look at the damage.  
His knee was swelling and it felt warm but other than that it was fine.

A few minutes later the waitress came back to the table and gave him a plate of three croissants and a large mug of hot chocolate topped with whipped cream. It smelled incredible.

Enjoy! the girl said cheerfully.

Percy let out a sound that was somewhere close to a yeah .

Percy bite into a croissant and leaned back in his chair tilting his head back. Savoring the incredible buttery flavor. He sipped the hot chocolate and let out a small sigh. This was the best food he had ever tasted.

Percy finished his breakfast and headed out. It was later than he would have liked but he still had some time to swim.

When he got to school there was still an hour and thirty minutes until class started.

Percy walked in through the side door by the parking lot that the upperclassmen and staff used.

Walking the deserted halls of Hatman High in the waking hours of the morning when maybe ten people were in the massive school total was a whole different feeling than during the day. It was calm, relaxing, it made you think maybe school isn t that bad. I could handle another day .

After changing, Percy jumped into the pool and swam ten laps before just floating on his back and kicking lazily from one side to another.

Only one other person was in the pool at this point. Percy didn t know him but he saw him at the pool every morning and after school. He looked like the type of person Percy would avoid though. The cool type. With friends and everything.

Percy hadn t ever been cool or popular he was the forgettable troublemaker. He rarely spoke out in class and when he did it was to say something sarcastic to the teach which would ultimately end him up in detention. The only people he ever got along with were other troublemakers and people who everyone else generally looked down on and avoided.

Percy looked at the clock on the wall and started to swim the the edge. It was seven-thirty.

I just don t think Se7en have what it takes to beat Froyo. Froyo has won Insomnia twice and they have basically the best players in the world on their best classes. I mean, Habib on demo is terrifying. Shade s medic is stupidly over powered, like he shouldn t be allowed to play with the sheer amount of skill he has, Blaze is and has been for the past what? Three years, the best roamer in the game, Arrek and B4nny on scout is just insane and Botmode is straight up unfair when it comes to rocket aim and game sense.

Percy didn t even both listening to Puraks as he took a seat next to Tyler and Gideon at their usual circular table in the cafeteria . Jayms looked livid at Puraks.

You could say the same thing for Se7en! Jayms spat. Kaidus has been one of the top european demoman for years now and Thalash is undoubtedly the new Clockwork. Drackk and Kaptain s soldier duo synergy is other worldly, Raymon is obviously on par with or even better than Shade and Paddie s clutch potential is nothing short of miraculous .

Percy rolled his eyes as he reached into his backpack and pulled out his laptop.

He pushed Gideon s backpack out of the way and set his laptop down.

Are you really working right now?

Percy looked up, unsure of where the question came from.

Percy glued his eyes back on the screen and muttered something about a project being due.

We have like an hour until school starts, brah.

It was Gideon s voice. Percy continued to work, pretending to not hear him.

Hey, Percy. Percy turned around in his chair to the last thing he wanted to see.

How was detention with Dodds. Luke smirked.

Percy glared but said nothing.

Luke laughed and walked back over to his circle of friends. Percy wanted to say something but he just didn t want to deal with Luke at the moment.

Percy thought back to the tryout poster.

If I m going to qualify I need to get in better shape.

Percy decided to hit the gym after school along with his after school swim.

He looked at the clock. Fifteen minutes until class. He picked up his laptop and put on his backpack. He left the table without a word and trudged down the hallway to class.

Science was Percy s least favorite class just based on the amount of group projects they did.  
Not that Percy hated everyone. He just didn t mesh with any of them. When he tried to talk to people the conversation would fall apart after fifteen seconds and in the end Percy would just say something dumb so he just didn t waste his time trying.

He walked over to his desk in the middle row next to the window.

Percy sighed as he put down his laptop and backpack. He plopped into his chair and took out his earbuds.

He looked over and Mr. Brittings. He was busy working on his computer. Percy listened to AC/DC as he watched the other students trickle in and take their seats.

He raised his eyebrows when Sady walked in. In Percy s opinion she was the cutest girl in that class.

Oh, my, gosh. Kathy you won t believe who just texted me.

Percy cringed. This was why he didn t ever try to ask her out. Sady was a little full of herself.

Is it Leo? Her friend Kathy scoffed rolling her eyes.

Ew no, it s Jason. He s tryin a slide inna my DM s again.

That perv? You tell em what for girl! If He wanna get back wit you he best check imself. You deserve better than that man whore.

You re right Kathy, I ll tell him to go crying back to that slut Piper.

This kind of gossip made Percy s blood boil. He didn t know Jason or Piper that well but he was pretty sure. They weren t the type to sleep around. Percy gritted his teeth and refocused on his history paper.

Chapter Tria

Percy came off the lunch line with his tray of, well, he wasn t even sure what it was. It came with peaches though so at least he d have something to eat.

Hey, Percy! We re going to the courtyard!

Percy recognised Grovers voice and followed a swarm of people outside.

It was a cool september afternoon. The air smelled like, well Percy wasn t quite sure. It was the smell of crisp cool early fall air.

The swarm of people started to disperse as everyone found tables and places by the fountain to sit. Percy spotted Grover and Juniper sitting on the side of the fountain eating their homemade lunches.

Hey guys. Percy moaned as he took a seat next to Grover.

You will not believe what happened in art today. Juniper looked upset.

What. Percy said in a flat uninterested tone. He picked at his whatever the school was trying to pawn off as a main dish on a Tuesday.

This guy in a trench coat and sunglasses walked into class right up to Ms. Lill and said something about her owing money. I think Ms. Lill is in debt to a loan shark or something. Juniper started tapping her foot nervously.

Who was it? Grover asked quizzically.

I don t like, uh. Something Gat.

That s really weird. Is it even legal to just walk into a school like that?

I don t know. Maybe I should call the police. Juniper stopped tapping her foot and got out her phone.

No don t what if it s something illegal. You don t want Ms. Lill to get in anymore trouble. Plus what could they even do about they even do anything about it. Grover reasoned as he bit into his peanut butter sandwich.

Yeah... Juniper put away her phone and picked up her salad fork again.

Between a bite of peach Percy Pondered out loud.

Do you guys think I could make the swim team?

Juniper and Grover looked over at him with stunned faces.

Percy, you swim like every day, I m gonna go with a hard yes. Grover reassured him

Yeah, Percy. I thought you were already planning to tryout. Juniper agreed.

What are you doing after school Grover? Percy asked.

I don t know. Homework i guess. Why?

I don t want to do it alone. That would feel weird.

Percy, incase you somehow haven t noticed. I m a little disabled. Like I don t know, only from the legs down. No swimming for me. Grover chuckled. I could be your coach or something i guess.

Yeah. Sound great. Percy agreed.

When are you planning to practise? Grover asked through a mouthful of peanut butter and bread.

Percy shrugged.

Directly after school i guess. I ll text if something comes up.

Cool. Grover took another bite of his sandwich. 


End file.
